Limerence

*Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss*, by Antonio Canova, first version 1787–1793

Limerence is a state of mind resulting from romantic feelings for another person. The state involves intrusive and melancholic thoughts, or tragic concerns for the object of one's affection, typically along with a desire for the reciprocation of one's feelings and to form a relationship with the object of love.

Psychologist Dorothy Tennov coined the term "limerence" as an alteration of the word "amorance" without other etymologies.^[1] The concept grew out of her work in the 1960s, when she interviewed over 500 people on the topic of love.^[2]^[3]^[4] In her book Love and Limerence, she writes that "to be in a state of limerence is to feel what is usually termed 'being in love.'"^[5] She coined the term to disambiguate the state from other less-overwhelming emotions, and to avoid the implication that people who don't experience it are incapable of love.^[6]^[7]

According to Tennov and others, limerence can be considered romantic love,^[1]^[8]^[9] falling in love,^[10]^[11]^[12] love madness,^[13]^[14]^[15] intense infatuation,^[16]^[12]^[17] passionate love with obsessive elements^[3]^[9]^[18] or lovesickness.^[4]^[19]^[20] Limerence is also sometimes compared and contrasted with a crush, with limerence being much more intense, impacting daily life and functioning more.^[21]^[22]^[23]

Love and Limerence has been called the seminal work on romantic love, with Tennov's survey results and the various personal accounts recounted in the book largely marking the start of data collection on the phenomenon.^[9]^[24]

^ ^a ^b "Will limerence take the place of love?". The Observer. 11 September 1977. One of the most illuminating sessions was when Dorothy Tennov [...] described her attempts to find a suitable term for 'romantic love.' [...] 'I first used the term "amorance" then changed it back to "limerence",' she told her audience. 'It has no roots whatsoever. It looks nice. It works well in French. Take it from me it has no etymology whatsoever.'
^ Tennov, Dorothy (1999). Love and Limerence: the Experience of Being in Love. Scarborough House. ISBN 978-0-8128-6286-7. Archived from the original on 27 March 2023. Retrieved 12 March 2011.
^ ^a ^b Hatfield 1988, p. 197: "Tennov (1979) interviewed more than five hundred passionate lovers. Almost all lovers took it for granted that passionate love (which Tennov labels 'limerence') is a bittersweet experience."
^ ^a ^b Cite error: The named reference wapo1990 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
^ Tennov 1999, p. 16
^ "That crazy little thing called love". The Guardian. 14 December 2003. Archived from the original on 25 May 2024. Retrieved 15 April 2009.
^ Tennov 1999, p. 15
^ Cite error: The named reference usatoday was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
^ ^a ^b ^c Bode, Adam; Kushnick, Geoff (11 April 2021). "Proximate and Ultimate Perspectives on Romantic Love". Frontiers in Psychology. 12. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.573123. PMC 8074860. PMID 33912094.: "Despite [the] attempts to define and describe romantic love, no single term or definition has been universally adopted in the literature. The psychological literature often uses the terms 'romantic love,' 'love,' and 'passionate love' [...]. Seminal work called it 'limerence' (Tennov, 1979). The biological literature generally uses the term 'romantic love' [...] or being 'in love' [...]. In this review, what we term 'romantic love' encompasses all of these definitions, descriptions, and terms."
^ Tennov 1999, p. 222
^ Tallis 2004, p. 42
^ ^a ^b Diamond, Lisa (Jan 2003). "What does sexual orientation orient? A biobehavioral model distinguishing romantic love and sexual desire". Psychological Review. 110 (1): 173–92. doi:10.1037/0033-295x.110.1.173. PMID 12529061.: "Numerous researchers accord with a basic distinction between infatuation (also known as [...] limerence) and attachment [...]. In a self-report study of over 1,000 individuals, Tennov (1979) found that infatuation was characterized by intense desires for proximity and physical contact, resistance to separation, feelings of excitement and euphoria when receiving attention and affection from the partner, fascination with the partner’s behavior and appearance, extreme sensitivity to his or her moods and signs of interest, and intrusive thoughts of the partner."
^ Tennov 1998, p. 77,86
^ Tennov 2005, pp. 338, 406
^ Beam 2013, pp. 72, 75: "[Tennov] discovered that many who considered themselves 'madly in love' had similar descriptions of their emotions and actions. She chose the label limerence to describe an intense longing and desire for another person that is much stronger than a simple infatuation, but not the same as a long-lived love that could last a life-time. [...] In 2002, Helen Fisher, PhD, in concert with other researchers, published the article 'Defining the Brain Systems of Lust, Romantic Attraction, and Attachment' in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. Considered a leading researcher [...], she and her research colleagues have identified several characteristics of a person who is 'madly in love,' or, as we put it, in limerence."
^ Frankel, Valerie (2002). "The Love Drug" (web). Oprah. Archived from the original on 20 March 2024. Retrieved 19 March 2024.
^ Kingsburg, Sheryl (2 April 2009). "What Is Limerance, And How Long Does It Normally Last?". ABC News. Archived from the original on 24 April 2009. Retrieved 2025-05-03.
^ Cite error: The named reference acevedo2009 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
^ Tennov 1999, pp. 7, 102, 179, 243
^ Cite error: The named reference ethnopharma was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
^ McCracken, Amanda (27 January 2024). "Is It a Crush or Have You Fallen Into Limerence?" (web). The New York Times. Archived from the original on 30 January 2024. Retrieved 30 January 2024.
^ Cite error: The named reference :16 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).
^ Chong, Elaine (2021-02-13). "When you can't quit a crush". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077. Archived from the original on 15 December 2023. Retrieved 2025-05-03.
^ Fisher 2016, p. 20

[observer-1] "Will limerence take the place of love?". The Observer. 11 September 1977. One of the most illuminating sessions was when Dorothy Tennov [...] described her attempts to find a suitable term for 'romantic love.' [...] 'I first used the term "amorance" then changed it back to "limerence",' she told her audience. 'It has no roots whatsoever. It looks nice. It works well in French. Take it from me it has no etymology whatsoever.'

[Love_and_Limerence-2] Tennov, Dorothy (1999). Love and Limerence: the Experience of Being in Love. Scarborough House. ISBN 978-0-8128-6286-7. Archived from the original on 27 March 2023. Retrieved 12 March 2011.

[Hatfield_1988_197-3] Hatfield 1988, p. 197: "Tennov (1979) interviewed more than five hundred passionate lovers. Almost all lovers took it for granted that passionate love (which Tennov labels 'limerence') is a bittersweet experience."

[wapo1990-4] Cite error: The named reference wapo1990 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).

[5] Tennov 1999, p. 16

[6] "That crazy little thing called love". The Guardian. 14 December 2003. Archived from the original on 25 May 2024. Retrieved 15 April 2009.

[Tennov_1999_15-7] Tennov 1999, p. 15

[usatoday-8] Cite error: The named reference usatoday was invoked but never defined (see the help page).

[proximateandultimate-9] Bode, Adam; Kushnick, Geoff (11 April 2021). "Proximate and Ultimate Perspectives on Romantic Love". Frontiers in Psychology. 12. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.573123. PMC 8074860. PMID 33912094.: "Despite [the] attempts to define and describe romantic love, no single term or definition has been universally adopted in the literature. The psychological literature often uses the terms 'romantic love,' 'love,' and 'passionate love' [...]. Seminal work called it 'limerence' (Tennov, 1979). The biological literature generally uses the term 'romantic love' [...] or being 'in love' [...]. In this review, what we term 'romantic love' encompasses all of these definitions, descriptions, and terms."

[10] Tennov 1999, p. 222

[11] Tallis 2004, p. 42

[diamond2003-12] Diamond, Lisa (Jan 2003). "What does sexual orientation orient? A biobehavioral model distinguishing romantic love and sexual desire". Psychological Review. 110 (1): 173–92. doi:10.1037/0033-295x.110.1.173. PMID 12529061.: "Numerous researchers accord with a basic distinction between infatuation (also known as [...] limerence) and attachment [...]. In a self-report study of over 1,000 individuals, Tennov (1979) found that infatuation was characterized by intense desires for proximity and physical contact, resistance to separation, feelings of excitement and euphoria when receiving attention and affection from the partner, fascination with the partner’s behavior and appearance, extreme sensitivity to his or her moods and signs of interest, and intrusive thoughts of the partner."

[13] Tennov 1998, p. 77,86

[14] Tennov 2005, pp. 338, 406

[beam-limerence-fisher-15] Beam 2013, pp. 72, 75: "[Tennov] discovered that many who considered themselves 'madly in love' had similar descriptions of their emotions and actions. She chose the label limerence to describe an intense longing and desire for another person that is much stronger than a simple infatuation, but not the same as a long-lived love that could last a life-time. [...] In 2002, Helen Fisher, PhD, in concert with other researchers, published the article 'Defining the Brain Systems of Lust, Romantic Attraction, and Attachment' in the Archives of Sexual Behavior. Considered a leading researcher [...], she and her research colleagues have identified several characteristics of a person who is 'madly in love,' or, as we put it, in limerence."

[thelovedrug-16] Frankel, Valerie (2002). "The Love Drug" (web). Oprah. Archived from the original on 20 March 2024. Retrieved 19 March 2024.

[17] Kingsburg, Sheryl (2 April 2009). "What Is Limerance, And How Long Does It Normally Last?". ABC News. Archived from the original on 24 April 2009. Retrieved 2025-05-03.

[acevedo2009-18] Cite error: The named reference acevedo2009 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).

[19] Tennov 1999, pp. 7, 102, 179, 243

[ethnopharma-20] Cite error: The named reference ethnopharma was invoked but never defined (see the help page).

[mccracken-21] McCracken, Amanda (27 January 2024). "Is It a Crush or Have You Fallen Into Limerence?" (web). The New York Times. Archived from the original on 30 January 2024. Retrieved 30 January 2024.

[:16-22] Cite error: The named reference :16 was invoked but never defined (see the help page).

[23] Chong, Elaine (2021-02-13). "When you can't quit a crush". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077. Archived from the original on 15 December 2023. Retrieved 2025-05-03.

[24] Fisher 2016, p. 20

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