Personal boundaries

Personal boundaries or the act of setting boundaries is a life skill that has been popularized by self help authors and support groups since the mid-1980s. Personal boundaries are established by changing one's own response to interpersonal situations, rather than expecting other people to change their behaviors to comply with your boundary.^[1] For example, if the boundary is to not interact with a particular person, then one sets a boundary by deciding not to see or engage with that person, and one enforces the boundary by politely declining invitations to events that include that person and by politely leaving the room if that person arrives unexpectedly. The boundary is thus respected without requiring the assistance or cooperation of any other people.^[1] Setting a boundary is different from issuing an ultimatum; an ultimatum is a demand that other people change their choices so that their behavior aligns with the boundary-setter's own preferences and personal values.^[2]

The term "boundary" is a metaphor, with in-bounds meaning acceptable and out-of-bounds meaning unacceptable.^[2] The concept of boundaries has been widely adopted by the counseling profession.^[3] Universal applicability of the concept has been questioned.^[4]

^ ^a ^b Pearson, Catherine (8 March 2023). "How to Set Boundaries With a Difficult Family Member". The New York Times. ISSN 0362-4331. Retrieved 12 March 2023.
^ ^a ^b Johnson, R. Skip. "Setting Boundaries and Setting Limits". BPDFamily.com. Retrieved 10 June 2014.
^ G. B. and J. S. Lundberg, I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better (2000) p. 13. ISBN 978-0-670-88485-8
^ Scherlis, Lily (14 July 2023). "Boundaries are suddenly everywhere. What does the squishy term actually mean?". The Guardian. Archived from the original on 31 July 2023. ...the basic concept has received shockingly little critical attention

[:0-1] Pearson, Catherine (8 March 2023). "How to Set Boundaries With a Difficult Family Member". The New York Times. ISSN 0362-4331. Retrieved 12 March 2023.

[Johnson-2] Johnson, R. Skip. "Setting Boundaries and Setting Limits". BPDFamily.com. Retrieved 10 June 2014.

[lundberg-3] G. B. and J. S. Lundberg, I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better (2000) p. 13. ISBN 978-0-670-88485-8

[Scherlis2023-4] Scherlis, Lily (14 July 2023). "Boundaries are suddenly everywhere. What does the squishy term actually mean?". The Guardian. Archived from the original on 31 July 2023. ...the basic concept has received shockingly little critical attention

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