Talk:Delyth Evans

This review is transcluded from Talk:Delyth Evans/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: ThatRandomGuy1 (talk · contribs) 02:34, 12 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: TheNuggeteer (talk · contribs) 11:56, 18 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! Going to review the article! Comments will probably be finished tomorrow at 12:30 (UTC). 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:56, 18 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry for taking long! I just wanted to let you know that I was busy. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 02:23, 21 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

No worries! I've been somewhat busy myself in the last few days :P Thanks for taking on this review, I appreciate it! ThatRandomGuy1 (talk) 02:56, 21 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Nearly done! Only have to assess criteria 2b. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 04:45, 25 July 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Felt bad I had to take long, so I'm going to give you what I currently have:

1. Well-written - Has some grammar problems, listed them after here.

• Lead - "Welsh former politician" to "Former Welsh politician".
• Lead - (Needs opinion) "she was Assembly Member (AM)" to "she was (a or the) Assembly Member (AM)".
• Lead (2nd paragraph) - "working on policy for the" to "working on policies for the shadow cabinet".
• Lead (3rd paragraph) - "candidate on the party list" to "candidate in the party list".
• Lead (3rd paragraph) - Who is Michael? Add his last name if possible.
• Lead (5th paragraph) - What does this mean? "from 2013, from 2010 to 2014".
• Early life and career (2nd paragraph) - "In 1984 she" to "In 1984, she"
• Early life and career (2nd paragraph) = "drew up policy for the shadow cabinet" to "drew up policies for the shadow cabinet".
• National Assembly for Wales (1st paragraph) - Remove "on the party list".
• National Assembly for Wales (2nd paragraph) - Remove "in February 2000", (if not, you can add "which was signed" before).
• National Assembly for Wales (6th paragraph) - The last sentence seems very long, is there a chance to shorten it?

There are also problems about the Manual of Style criteria, other than those problems, the article is good to go.

• Lead - Move the dmy date template after the language variation template.
• Lead - According to the MOS guidelines, the article needs one or two paragraphs, caused by the article having less than 2,500 words.

2. Verifiable with no original research - According to guidline 1b, the article is good to go with the reference layout guidelines. The article also does not have any copyvios.

2b. Source spotcheck -

Lead: No sources but okay.

Early life and career: Source 1 is an offline source (accepted in good faith), Source 2 is a BBC profile, good to go. Source 3, 4, and 5 are news sources and okay,

and source 6 and 7 are PDFs, good to go, Source 8 and 11 is a paywalled source, AGF, source 9 is an offline source, Source 10 and 11 are book sources, AGF, and Source 12 is okay.

National Assembly for Wales: Source 14 and 15 are AGF, while Source 16 does not say Delyth Evans, while it states Alun Michael. Source 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, and 24 are okay. Source 25 snd 26 are offline but okay.

Source 27, 28, 29, and 30 are okay. Source 31 and 33 mentions Delyth Evans and is AGF. Source 32 and 34 are okay. Source 35 is okay but does not mention "peerage", and Source 36 is okay.

Professional career: Sources 37, 38, 39, 40, and 41 are okay. Source 42 is paywalled but okay. Sources 43, 44, and 45 are okay.

Sources 46 and 48 seems unreliable, and Source 47 seems kind-of-reliable. Source 49 was in a different language but I successfully translated it, reliable. Amd source 50 is reliable.

2c. No original research -

Great! Every statement is sourced! Good to go!

3. Broad - I suggest adding political positions (if she has) and more about her other careers (if it is possible), I also suggest adding more information of her Personal life (if possible).

I also found some sources about her, https://alacrityfoundation.co.uk/delyth-evans/, https://www.these-islands.co.uk/publications/i276/delyth_evans_speech_at_the_launch_of_these_islands.aspx

4. Neutral - Everything is neutral, good to go.

5. Stable - Has mostly expansion edits, good to go.

6. Illustrated - There are several images, the first one is under the Open-Government license, the second one was shared by the author,

The third one is under the GNU license, and the fourth one is Flickr-licensed, good to go. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 08:55, 18 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

1. I've done most of these changes, though I'm not so sure about the "former Welsh politician" bit. She's still Welsh just not a politician, so to me "Welsh former politician" makes more sense. Perhaps she could be described as a "Welsh executive and former politician" or something along those lines, given her wider carer? I've done my best to condense the lead. The second paragraph does feel slightly too long, though I'm not too sure how to further condense it. Maybe I could remove her 2015 general election candidacy from that paragraph given her failure to be elected?

3. I've added a political views section and a bit to the personal life section about her Welsh identity. Sources seem quite hard to come by in the personal life department outside her marriage to the Ofcom chief, but I'd be more than happy to add more if sources can be found. ThatRandomGuy1 (talk) 11:27, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Welsh executive and former politician seems good. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:43, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@ThatRandomGuy1: Hello? 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:52, 30 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry for the long response! Thanks for the ping, I thought i'd set this page to my watchlist but evidently not. I'll check back in manually from now on. I've done that change and am now doing the others. ThatRandomGuy1 (talk) 12:04, 30 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

My sixth concert (Lead, 5th paragraph) is not fixed, maybe remove 'from'? 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:44, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I've reworded that bit again and added the rebrand to an explanatory footnote to make it easier to understand. ThatRandomGuy1 (talk) 12:12, 30 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

If your confused by the 2nd MoS concern, you should have two paragraphs in the lead (if possible). 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:47, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Right, I think the length of the lead should be ok then. I'm more than happy to try and condense the second paragraph further though should I be asked to do so. ThatRandomGuy1 (talk) 12:13, 30 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Everything's okay, just the sources. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 11:48, 27 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source concerns (from this revision):

1. Source 16 does not say Delyth Evans, while it states Alun Michael.
2. Source 35 is okay but does not mention "peerage".
3. Sources 46 and 48 seems unreliable.

🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 12:21, 30 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

1. Looking at this at the moment.

2. I've added source 36 to the end of the sentence of source 35, as that one does explicitly mention a peerage. Both sources include mentions of her being recommended as someone to become a peer/receive a peerage, albeit worded differently, so that should suffice I think.

3. Both sources 46 and 48 are backed up by 47 and 49, which are more reliable secondary sources, so I think those are fine. I will look for more sources now just to be on the safe side though. ThatRandomGuy1 (talk) 12:25, 30 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

1. Finished this up with addition of info and sources about the party list top-up electoral system and explicit sourcing of Evans not being elected to the assembly in the 1999 assembly election. ThatRandomGuy1 (talk) 13:29, 30 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good, passing. 🍗TheNuggeteer🍗 13:45, 30 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]