Wikipedia:Please be a giant dick, so we can ban you

This is a humorous essay.

It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and is made to be humorous. This page is not one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints. This essay isn't meant to be taken seriously.

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This page is intended as humor. It is not, has never been, nor will ever be, a Wikipedia policy or guideline.
Rather, it illustrates standards or conduct that are generally not accepted by the Wikipedia community.

This page in a nutshell: Linking to, editing, reading or even thinking about this page are indefinitely blockable offenses.

Lately, it has come to our attention that some people are being only slightly dickish, rather than either not being dicks at all, or being giant dicks (who can be banned).

This is a request for members of the Wikipedia community to cease mild dickery: either desist with being a dick altogether, or become a gigantic dick so that immediate banning becomes justified.