Non-monogamy

Non-monogamy (or nonmonogamy) is an umbrella term for every practice or philosophy of non-dyadic intimate relationship that does not strictly hew to the standards of monogamy, particularly that of having only one person with whom to exchange sex, love, and/or affection. In that sense, "nonmonogamy" may be accurately applied to extramarital sex, group marriage, or polyamory.^[1] It is not synonymous with infidelity, since all parties are consenting to the relationship structure, partners are often committed to each other as well as to their other partners and cheating is still considered problematic behavior with many non-monogamous relationships.^[2]

More specifically, "nonmonogamy" indicates forms of interpersonal relationship, intentionally undertaken, in which demands for exclusivity (of sexual interaction or emotional connection, for example) are attenuated or eliminated, and individuals may form multiple and simultaneous sexual and/or romantic bonds.^[3] This stands in contrast to monogamy, yet may arise from the same psychology.^[4] According to Jessica Fern, a psychotherapist and the author of Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy, as of September 2020, about 4% of Americans, nearly 16 million people, are "practising a non-monogamous style of relationship"^[5] while the a 2016 study said that over 21% of Americans engaged in consensual non-monogamy at "some point in their lifetime."^[6] In January 2020, a YouGov poll found that about one-third of US adults believe that "their ideal relationship is non-monogamous to some degree."^[7]

^ Cf. "Monogamy" in Britannica World Language Dictionary, R.C. Preble (ed.), Oxford-London 1962, p. 1275:1. The practice or principle of marrying only once. opp. to digamy now rare 2. The condition, rule or custom of being married to only one person at a time (opp. to polygamy or bigamy) 1708. 3. Zool. The habit of living in pairs, or having only one mate; The same text repeats The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary, W. Little, H.W. Fowler, J. Coulson (ed.), C.T. Onions (rev. & ed.,) Oxford 1969, 3rd edition, vol.1, p.1275; OED Online. March 2010. Oxford University Press. 23 Jun. 2010 Cf. Monogamy Archived 2015-06-23 at the Wayback Machine in Merriam-Webster Dictionary
^ Balzarini, R. (2017). "Perceptions of primary and secondary relationships in polyamory". PLOS ONE. 12 (5): e0177841. Bibcode:2017PLoSO..1277841B. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0177841. PMC 5436896. PMID 28542619.
^ Labriola, Kathy (2001). "Are you open to an alternative lifestyle?". Cat & Dragon Communications. Archived from the original on November 10, 2001. Retrieved December 24, 2020.
^ Barker, Langdridge (2009). Barker, Meg; Landridge, Darren (eds.). Understanding Non-Monogamies. New York: Routledge. ISBN 9780415652964.
^ Kavanagh, Jess (September 19, 2020). "Building bridges: How polyamory made me a better friend, lover and person". Irish Times. Archived from the original on October 3, 2020. Retrieved December 24, 2020.
^ Haupert, M.L.; Gesselman, Amanda N.; Moors, Amy C.; Fisher, Helen E. & Garcia, Justin R. (June 20, 2016). "Prevalence of Experiences With Consensual Nonmonogamous Relationships: Findings From Two National Samples of Single Americans". Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. 43 (4): 424–440. doi:10.1080/0092623X.2016.1178675. PMID 27096488. S2CID 6855648. Retrieved December 24, 2020.
^ Ballard, Jamie (January 31, 2020). "Millennials are less likely to want a monogamous relationship". YouGov. Archived from the original on November 3, 2020. Retrieved December 24, 2020.

[BRIT-1] Cf. "Monogamy" in Britannica World Language Dictionary, R.C. Preble (ed.), Oxford-London 1962, p. 1275:1. The practice or principle of marrying only once. opp. to digamy now rare 2. The condition, rule or custom of being married to only one person at a time (opp. to polygamy or bigamy) 1708. 3. Zool. The habit of living in pairs, or having only one mate; The same text repeats The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary, W. Little, H.W. Fowler, J. Coulson (ed.), C.T. Onions (rev. & ed.,) Oxford 1969, 3rd edition, vol.1, p.1275; OED Online. March 2010. Oxford University Press. 23 Jun. 2010 Cf. Monogamy Archived 2015-06-23 at the Wayback Machine in Merriam-Webster Dictionary

[2] Balzarini, R. (2017). "Perceptions of primary and secondary relationships in polyamory". PLOS ONE. 12 (5): e0177841. Bibcode:2017PLoSO..1277841B. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0177841. PMC 5436896. PMID 28542619.

[3] Labriola, Kathy (2001). "Are you open to an alternative lifestyle?". Cat & Dragon Communications. Archived from the original on November 10, 2001. Retrieved December 24, 2020.

[4] Barker, Langdridge (2009). Barker, Meg; Landridge, Darren (eds.). Understanding Non-Monogamies. New York: Routledge. ISBN 9780415652964.

[5] Kavanagh, Jess (September 19, 2020). "Building bridges: How polyamory made me a better friend, lover and person". Irish Times. Archived from the original on October 3, 2020. Retrieved December 24, 2020.

[6] Haupert, M.L.; Gesselman, Amanda N.; Moors, Amy C.; Fisher, Helen E. & Garcia, Justin R. (June 20, 2016). "Prevalence of Experiences With Consensual Nonmonogamous Relationships: Findings From Two National Samples of Single Americans". Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy. 43 (4): 424–440. doi:10.1080/0092623X.2016.1178675. PMID 27096488. S2CID 6855648. Retrieved December 24, 2020.

[7] Ballard, Jamie (January 31, 2020). "Millennials are less likely to want a monogamous relationship". YouGov. Archived from the original on November 3, 2020. Retrieved December 24, 2020.

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